Does Mahogany Make Me a Racist?

After a nice country-style dinner at Cracker Barrel with my dear aunt and cousin on Friday, I decided to make a quick run to Walmart for a nice heart-felt Hallmark card to send to my loved one for his birthday. I told myself that I wasn't going to shop for anything but this card because I was exhausted and ready to go home, lie down, and go to sleep. So I ran into Walmart and went directly to the card section. Birthdays...special occasions...weddings/engagements...sympathy...thank you...new baby <(or whatever they name that section)....congratulations...aaaannnnddd back to birthdays. I searched diligently through every single section at least three times looking for a card made by Mahogany. Mahogany cards are made by Hallmark to specifically target Black people - or some of you may prefer "African-Americans", but I've never been to Africa and you probably haven't either. That's another conversation for another day though.

I don't want to sound cliche or anything, but in my honest experience I have only ever really been able to relate to Mahogany cards. I don't know what it is, but they seem to express how I truly feel about the recipient of the card. They typically address the ups and downs of relationships, but despite the "downs" how one couldn't imagine their life without said person. It may even go as far as to say that the hard times are worth it in the end and somehow have even strengthened the relationship. They address the hard work of a father who may come in daily wearing sweaty clothes and paint stains on his boots and how you appreciate what he has done for your family. They express appreciation for a father or grandfather's spiritual guidance and leadership and how it has made you into the person you are or that the family wouldn't be as strong without him. They have even made cards for single mothers on Father's Day to acknowledge her strength and hard work to make ends meet. If I buy a card for someone I want it to mean something. I want them to really feel loved and appreciated for being who they are to me. No shade against any other type of card, but this has been my experience. Needless to say, I walked out of Walmart without a card. There was not a single Mahogany card in sight, which sort of upset me because I don't understand why there wasn't one card with a picture of a person who looked like me or my loved one on it - or that used words that I would used and conveyed a heart-felt message to which I could relate. If I had gone to the "other" side of town I probably would have been in business.

Now, I am in no way, shape, or form insinuating that Mahogany or "Black" cards are any better than other cards, but they are my preference or a blank one on which I can handwrite my message...and by the way I picked that up from my newly adopted Caucasian "second mother". She has taught me the importance of a handwritten card, specifically with "thank you" notes, but I'm sure it's just as special for any other occasion.

My question is: now that I have openly shared this preference and the reason behind it, what does that say about me and my attitude towards other races and even my own race? Does that make me slightly racist? Do I think my race is superior or are there simply just some noticeable cultural differences that I have discovered and decided to embrace? I never thought about race until I became a student at a predominantly white institution (PWI) and experienced racism at it's finest. My experiences there have changed me and I am often confused about how I feel and the thoughts I have from time to time. I don't think I'm racist. I love my Caucasian family members, I love my "second mother and father" that I mentioned earlier, I love my White friends, I enjoy working in a majority white environment, and I don't walk around with my tail on my shoulders pulling "the race card" every time something goes wrong, but why do I question whether or not I should feel guilty or ashamed for not buying a card because I couldn't find a Mahogany brand?

Please respectfully comment and share your thoughts and opinions.

Yours Truly,

Dre' Xolani

No Sunshine When She's Gone

Hello Ladies and Gents!

I know you all are wondering "why in the world did she go through the trouble of making a new blog and announcing this "new platform" and yet she's only posted one topic/post?" Well, maybe you aren't thinking that. The truth is I may only have five readers. But can I pretend I have a million? Thanks. I will.

I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long! It has truly been a crazy summer. I graduated in May and immediately started job hunting, which is a job in itself. I landed a job in July (right after my last post) and things just kind of went haywire. I received my start date on a Wednesday. I had to report to work the following Monday. Needless to say, I was running around like a wild chicken trying to find an apartment and get things lined up because my lease was ending in exactly two weeks from my start date. Grrrr! It was hell trying to get everything situated, but I saw it through and now I'M BAAAAACK!!!!

I love my new job. I love my new apartment. The location is FANTASTIC. I really have no complaints, other than having to study for this darn licensure exam. I thought for sure I had ducked and dodged every standardized exam there was. I dodged the ACT by going to community college. My major was more about being able to write a good paper than passing exams. I got my master's degree in the same field as with my bachelor's degree and somehow dodged the freakin' GRE. Now that I have done all of that hard work to keep from taking exams, they tell me I have to take one to prove that I actually learned something. Go figure.... Anyway, I have a few new topics in the bag that I need to hurry up and get posted before they are no longer relevant, but I thought I would give you all some insight on where I've been and why I haven't posted anything before I just pop up out of the clear blue sky talking smack about everything and everybody. Stay tuned!


Yours Truly,

Dre'Xolani

Sprucing It Up

So I was reading a post about Miley Cyrus twerkin' at the Juicy J concert earlier today and I ran across link entitled "14 Of The Most Airbrushed Celebrity Women"; I had to click on it to see what was up. My light-bulb clicked on as I scrolled from one picture to the next. I have heard people say that the women on tv don't even look like "the women on tv", but I clearly dismissed those comments thinking that whoever was saying that only wanted to make me feel better about my imperfections and insecurities.


The post that I stumbled across included Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, Brittany Spears, JESSICA ALBA, and Eva Longoria!!! Oh, and Megan Fox. I don't know about you, but I would say these are some of the hottest chicks in the game right now. In looking at these photos I realized that even they don't have perfect bodies. Kim K has cellulite and Eva has a few wrinkles. Don't get me wrong, they are still beautiful women, but ladies and gents, we are being misled.

I'm not mad at them for doing what they have to do to look good. I am all for plastic surgery, hair color and extensions, acrylic nails, makeup, Spanx, & whatever else is out there for women who wish to enhance their beauty. And I'm not gonna lie, if I were half naked for the world to look at on the cover of a magazine, I'd strive to be BADD too. We live in a cruel world of judgmental, nothing-else-better-to-do people; we already expect them to be saints or just flat out sluts. There is no happy medium. I can only imagine the amount of pressure, so I guess they need to bring it if they want to keep food on the table. I said all of that to say that I'm not knocking any of the ladies included in this post for 'sprucing up a bit'.

My eyebrow raising moment was when I thought about the fact that there are so many women who are practically killing themselves to compete with those in the entertainment industry. We want our men to look at us the way we imagine they look at the women on television and in magazines. No woman wants her man looking at anyone else - we don't care if it is Beyonce! We all know how unrealistic that is, but nevertheless we still dream...and we still struggle with the fact that our boobs aren't as perky, we don't have Nicki Minaj booties, our waist lines aren't as small, our skin isn't as clear, our hair isn't as long and shiny, our tummies aren't as flat, our teeth are as perfect & the list goes on.

I want to remind myself and the other women who are out here struggling to compete with Kim K, Nicki Minaj, Evelyn Lozada, Beyonce, Megan Fox, Halle Berry, Jada, and every other woman in Hollywood (or Atlanta), that we should definitely strive to live healthier lifestyles and be the best YOU/ME that we can be, but at the end of the day, we are our only competition. What we think we are up against does not even exist so STOP IT. Continue to make healthy choices in the kitchen. Continue to workout on a regular basis. Continue to wear whatever makes YOU feel sexy, but let's not buy every diet pill that hits the shelf or kill ourselves with plastic wrap-ups in effort to look like something that is almost impossible to achieve.

Do I mean that we can't get in shape, stay in shape, and have beautiful bodies? No! I know plenty of women personally who have beautiful bodies, skin, hair, and everything else. I'm saying that we need to stop comparing ourselves to what we see in the media and even to women we know personally because none of them are perfect and you can only be the best you!

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone."

-Sam Levenson

Yours Truly,

Dre' Xolani